Thursday, February 2, 2012

Change Number One: REST

I'd say Happy New Years, but that is sort of belated.  I could say: How are your New Year's resolutions....?  But that's kinda private especially if they aren't going so well....Sooo I just want to say Hi!  I'm glad you're here.

I'll let you see into a little window of my life.  It's not a window I open very wide or often, but it's there.  It got opened without my choosing on December 29, when the ER staff thought I might be having a stroke!  Yep that's right.  I was numb on my left shoulder and the left side of my face.  It was so not fun!  It really scared me.

I got to spend the night in the ER because there was no room in the inn (hospital)!  The tales that could be told about life in an ER!  Anyway, it all boiled down to my Thyroid was wacko and I was so sleep deprived that I was having a major anxiety attack (I'm sure a numb face didn't help!) and it all bottomed out that I've been doing so much and not taking care of myself.  That's a really bad place to get to by the way!

I left the hospital with an appointment with another Dr., meds. and lots to think about!  I've struggled with my weight my whole life.  There has been unimaginable pain associated with it and time has healed most wounds and God has been so faithful to carry me up this mountain, that I certainly can't stay there!  Of course, while they thought I was stroking, I was thinking that I had brought this on myself and I deserved the consequences of my indulgence.  Well, while those thoughts are sobering, they aren't necessarily all true.  Therefore, I had once again allowed my mind to drift from the peace of the Lord and flow into the river of lies that the enemy loves to bathe any takers!

Once home, I made some hard decisions.  The most important was to get some sleep.  No more staying up late (midnight) and getting up early (6am).  I had to get some real rest.  That has taken considerable effort.  I shut things down at 10:30 now.  It's is so hard to just stop, but I have and it's amazing how good rest feels! 

Psalm 127:2  
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.

I had just been working and doing so much that I certainly had lost sight of this verse.  I was anxious and I just kept working and doing and ....just one more thing..... Ever been there?  I looked at a picture of myself from the holidays and I think the circles under my eyes were down to my chin!  The only beauty treatment for those babies has been sleep.  Those circles are inching their way back up my face! 

In keeping with my new commitments, I'm going to stop here and go to bed.  I'll be back and share what else has happened. 

Hilltop Blessings!